What to know about 'Choremance,' a new dating trend where you do chores together
Going on a date with the person you fancy usually entails a candlelit dinner, a trip to the movies, or long conversations over coffee. But a new dating trend is taking a different approach—one that has couples doing everyday chores.
Dubbed “choremance,” the concept puts a domestic spin on dating, where couples do errands together instead of traditional romantic activities.
While this may seem unromantic at first glance, experts say that the practice reflects a deeper shift in how modern couples define intimacy and connection, particularly as they prioritize practicality over grand gestures.
Choremance, explained
In an interview with PhilSTAR L!fe, dating expert and psychologist Mezhal Ulao explained that it's "basically turning a 'lakad' or errand into a date."
"Instead of meeting at a high-end restaurant in BGC or Makati, you meet at the supermarket or the neighborhood mall. It’s helping each other find the best deals on 5 kg bags of rice or tag-teaming a trip to the LTO or bank," he said. "It gives the energy of 'Punta tayo sa grocery, treat kita ng ice cream pagkatapos' or something similar."
Psychologist Lordy Santos told L!fe that while choremance involves partners doing everyday tasks together, the core essence of dating remains: "getting to know one another, building connection, and being present in the moment."
Ulao said that this idea may be getting hot in the dating scene because of traffic, time, and economic practicality.
"Let’s be real—spending three hours in traffic just to sit in a cinema for two hours is exhausting. Choremance is efficient. If you’re going to be out anyway, you might as well be together," he said. "With inflation affecting the cost of dining out, a fancy dinner for two can easily reach P2,500 to P4,000. Choremance is free in terms of date costs—you’re just paying for things you actually need for your house."
How choremance could affect one's relationship
According to Santos, choremance can be beneficial in terms of gaining deeper insight into another person’s "authentic self."
"Engaging in everyday activities together allows individuals to observe their partner’s day-to-day habits, including budgeting styles, decision-making processes, time management, and even purchasing preferences," he said. "These aspects are often overlooked in traditional dates but are integral to long-term compatibility, especially for individuals who envision marriage or long-term commitment."
Ulao echoed the same sentiments in that it helps you gauge each other's "financial transparency."
"You see how your partner handles money. Do they look for the 'Buy 1 Take 1' deals? Are they impulsive with snacks? It’s a fast track to seeing if your 'kuripot' or 'gastador' levels match," he explained.
With "choremance," you can get a sense of whether you both make a good team together.
"Navigating a crowded supermarket on a payday weekend requires serious coordination. If you can survive that without a fight, you can survive almost anything," Ulao said.
Are there any drawbacks to choremance?
While the idea of choremance offers practical benefits, Ulao warned that this may not be ideal for every couple as it may cause frustration and conflict instead.
"If every single date involves a grocery list, the relationship can start to feel a bit like a business partnership or a roommate situation," he told L!fe.
And as doing chores can typically be stressful, choremance could backfire if not approached thoughtfully.
"Let’s be honest—sometimes errands are just annoying. If one of you is cranky because of the crowd or the heat, it can accidentally turn into a tiff," he said. "It’s hard to have a deep 'us' conversation when you’re busy checking the expiration date on the milk or trying to find a parking slot."
There's also the risk of "getting too comfortable" with the trend, and Ulao highlighted how it's "nice to feel like someone actually 'planned' something special just for you."
Santos added that with choremance, some people "may begin to treat productivity or practicality as the sole metric for determining romantic compatibility, which may overlook other important emotional and relational dimensions of intimacy."
"Still, it's important to remain open to other meaningful interactions that allow potential partners to express themselves fully and naturally," he advised.
At its heart, Ulao emphasized that choremance is about "finding someone who makes the boring parts of life actually fun."
"It is becoming a hit because it is honest. You are seeing each other in real life mode, usually in sweatpants and without the first date filters," he said. "It is basically proof that if you can have a laugh while stuck in a long checkout line, you have probably found someone worth keeping."