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This app picks up the stuff you left at your ex’s so you don’t have to

By PINKY S. ICAMEN Published Jun 30, 2021 8:39 pm

Breakups are the worst, especially once you realize you left a sizable amount of possessions at your ex’s—your Nintendo Switch, your favorite 14-hole DMs, your AirFryer, your pride.

As those fresh from breakups may still be vulnerable and not yet ready for a face-to-face encounter with their bitter and soured former significant other, there is a new app called Postdates that will help them reclaim their items and spare them that unwanted, awkward interaction.

Postdates creators—director and conceptual artist Ani Acopian, music producer and songwriter Suzy Shinn and product developer Brian Wagner—say the app is a fully operational parody of a company that goes by a very similar name. (What comes to mind is food delivery service Postmates, which is widely used in the US.)

Acopian’s initial promo tweet for the app raised questions if the product is legit, but the creators confirmed it is real and it is “designed to bring humor to an otherwise shitty situation” that works just like the food delivery service but in “break-up form.”

Speaking to Rolling Stone, Wagner said the app is intended as a commentary on “emotionally charged things people have strong feelings about, like relationships, gig economy, tech startups in general, and the fact that people are paying workers to go do their things like their emotional labor for them.”

How it works

Choose the relationship you were previously involved in, may it be romantic or  non-romantic. Screenshot from Postdates

Users of the app may ask for their stuff back (or send them back) to their ex or to someone they are no longer in contact with for some time.

First, one needs to pick from a brief list of relationships: Seriously dated, one-night stand, hooked up, friendzoned, divorced, non-romantic relationship, etc.

Choose from suggested items or add a custom pick. Screenshot from Postdates

Then one adds the items, preferably with descriptions, that they are sending back/requesting. There are suggested items like for those who’ve been in a one-night stand, like earrings, undies, purse, and there is also a “custom item” option.

The ex (or whoever) will be contacted via the app to see if they are willing to pick up the item or accept the delivery of items that are being returned to them.

According to the app’s creators, anything can be delivered through Postdates as long as they fit in a 12x7x17 grocery bag. However, they don’t deliver alcohol, livestock, drugs, weapons and illegal substance.

Make sure the items fit in a 12x7x17 grocery bag like this one. Photo from Postdates

After the ex (or whoever) accepts the request, the items will be delivered within 24 hours.

Postdates is currently available for a limited run in New York via Airpals (for $30 or about P1,500) and Los Angeles via Gourmet Runner (for $25 or about P1,200).

Breakups are messy, imagine your relationship being reduced to a 12x7x17 grocery bag. But at the end of the day, someone has to collect the debris chipped off from your little black heart. Got a smartphone and $30? Consider it done.

Banner photo from Postdates